Been In and Out of the Rooms of AA for 20 Years

Submitted by on Thu, 02/11/2021 - 06:03

I am a periodic binge drinker. I got my first DUI when I was 19 years old. I accumulated 2 more in 2001 and 2008. My LAST DUI was over 10 years ago so they all dropped off my record. I don't know if I will ever be sober for CONTINUOUS length of time. I have had 2 years, 1 year multiple times, and 6 months many times.  Very often people convince me in the rooms that I was not even a real alcoholic, just a periodic BINGE drinker. Then other times I am convinced by myself that I am a "REAL" alcoholic. Only a REAL ALCOHOLIC would relapse so many times, with massive punitive damages, like losing my ability to drive, and my family to a certain extent. Its a very difficult situation to comprehend. All I know is that my relapses have been getting shorter (Like an afternoon of drinking till about .07 BAC) and the relapses are getting less frequent. It seems like my ability to continue has been getting less and less. Or am I just deluding myself?